Stop being so afraid
I see you, I hear you and I need to let you know that you have to stop being so afraid.
Keep in mind it’s rare that I use the words have to.
However- I do believe that rules are often meant to be broken. Because sometimes, I get to decide that a rule doesn’t actually make sense, and I get to break it.
Anyway, If you truly want to live the life of your dreams that you say you do, you have to stop being so afraid.
You have to step into the fear like a MOFO and do it anyway.
I understand the fear. I understand the hesitation and the resistance.
But I’m here to say you HAVE TO DO IT ANYWAY.
You cannot live on both sides of the fence. You cannot continue to be handcuffed to your fear and live the life you claim you want to live.
You know deep down that you can have it all. But that voice of fear simply will not release its grip.
And I’m here to tell you-It actually WON’T release it’s grip.
So stop waiting for it to feel better.
Stop waiting for it to not be so damn scary.
Stop waiting for the fear to go away.
Because you will just continue to wait.
And wait, and wait, and wait….
And weeks will pass into months.
Months to years.
And years to decades.
And there just went your life.
You tell yourself, another day, tomorrow, next week.
But what happens when next week comes?
Then what excuse will you cling to?
And so you continue to push down your deepest darkest desires and convince that you will do them, someday-you know, when it feels better. When it feels right. When it’s “YOUR TURN.”
At what point will you understand that the time is now?
At what point will you start to understand that all your busyness and your productivity and to-do lists are simply holding you hostage and killing the dream.
You mindlessly scroll on social media day after day, watching people step out and ask yourself-when will it be my turn? Why do they get to live their dreams? What are they doing that I’m not? Why them and not me?
It’s because they frickin’ decided to get off their butt and step into the fear and do it anyway.
You say you want to lose the weight. You say you want to be a writer, an author, a retreat host, a speaker. You crave a better marriage, to use your voice to make a difference. You say you want to stop tiptoeing around in your home, in your workspace. You want to speak your mind and not have to worry about the consequence. You want people to take you seriously.
You say you want the raise, the promotion. You say you want to share your art and your message with the world. You say you want to eat healthier, to travel more, to influence women, to be on stages, to use your gifts to be a powerful leader and yet you’ve got every excuse in the book.
I’m too tired.
This isn’t a good week.
I don’t feel well.
My kids need me
My husband needs me.
There’s a big project at work.
I don’t want to upset my partner.
I don’t want to rock the boat.
I don’t want to get up that early.
I don’t know enough people.
I don’t know the right people.
I’m already so busy.
I feel overwhelmed.
I don’t know where to start.
I just need a bit more education.
I can’t actually really say that online.
I really shouldn’t reveal THAT part of myself.
I might piss my aunt off if she hears that.
Sheesh….that’s a big list which makes me VERY tired just reading. You better go and journal some more so you can figure out when would be a good time to start.
Listen, I’m really not making fun. Honestly-I’m not.
Because I’ve used almost everyone of those excuses.
It’s why I know them so well.
I remember when I received my first coaching certification. I was cruising along, learning, growing, digesting all the insanely incredible information. I couldn’t wait to share what I was learning and change the world.
And then it hit me.
I was actually going to have to step out of my comfort zone and use this stuff to help other people.
I was actually going to have to push play on my own life in certain areas.
I was actually going to have to do it afraid.
I was actually going to have to show up.
OH-WOW!!! I didn’t really think that through…..
Your pattern/my pattern not that long ago, was to simply sit back down.
To tell myself all the reasons why I couldn’t.
Why I shouldn’t.
Why I wasn’t enough.
But at some point, I got tired of the pattern. I got tired of playing small.
I wanted to return to who I KNEW deep down I always was.
The woman who I knew I was born to be.
So I’m here to say that just because you have a pattern, doesn’t mean you have to continue to run that pattern for the rest of your life.
You can break it. You can choose something different.
Because you are different.
You are different than the rest.
You are that woman who will take action.
You are that woman who knows that deep down she was made for more.
You are that woman who throws in the towel on all her excuses and her stories.
And she feels the fear-just like all the rest. But she does it anyway.
Just like when you were riding a bicycle as a little girl.
There was always that unknown-of how this was actually going to play out. And the bike was wobbly and it tipped and you crashed. (remind me to tell you sometime about the bike crash that quite literally made my stomach resemble something along the lines of raw hamburger)
But at some point-you wanted what was on the other side of that bike more desperately than you wanted to just sit and stare at it.
You wanted freedom.
You wanted the dream.
You wanted it worse than you wanted the fear.
And your dream is no different than riding that bike.
Are you going to let other people and their opinions stand in your way?
Are you going to let circumstances and excuses allow you to play small?
Because I think deep down you actually know -
THAT YOU CAN.
THAT YOU WILL.
THAT YOU HAVE TO.
You just aren’t comfortable sitting on the side of the curb anymore watching all the other kids have a hayday on their bikes.
You want to hop on that thing and ride straight into your dream, your freedom, your truth.
And it will be unclear.
And challenge you like never before.
But on the other side is your happiness, your freedom, your dream, your purpose.
So stop thinking about all the reasons you can’t. Start thinking about your next step. Walk straight into the fear.
And start to take action on your dream.
And remember-if you can dream it, you can do it.