I’ve probably told this story a million times, but I believe people need to hear things through repetition so here’s a million and one.
I remember the day distinctly. It was any ordinary day. Or so I thought.
It was laundry day-once again. With 3 kids, it was pretty much laundry day everyday.
I was pulling the sheets from the washing machine and adding them to the dryer. or whatever reason I lingered in front of the dryer that particular day and I watch those sheets bounce around. They were being tossed to and fro. And as I stood back and watched them I realized those sheets were much like how my life felt.
I realized in that moment that my life felt like it was being tossed to and fro-everyday it felt so directionless. To purposeless, and totally un-fulfilling and BORING AF!!!!!
You see-I LOVED my kids fiercely. FIERCELY. And there were many aspects of being a mom that I truly loved. But currently all my kids were in school so I was a stay at home of no one.
And i was completely and totally bored. I knew in my heart that I was created BY a creator to DO something creative, but after changing diapers, cleaning house and having a meal to the table for 12 years-i was bored and unfulfilled.
I never loved many of the tasks and obligations that came with motherhood. Going to the grocery store, washing sheets, scrubbing floors, the chaos of bedtime, baking cookies that I secretly think I wished Good housekeeping would come and take pictures of in their publication so I felt worthy and as if I was doing SOMETHING productive and worthwhile.
It wasn’t that staying at home with my cubs wasn’t worthwhile-I just simply put a lot of false expectations and obligations on myself that didn’t necessarily need to be there.
I was so focused on what I thought a “good mom” was supposed to look like that I spent NO time on what my passions were. What MY purpose was and what my dreams were. I completely put myself on the back burner and made sure that everyone else had their needs and desires met. I was trying so hard to squeeze something out of nothing-and I definitely had nothing left to give much of the time.
And i think that’s what a lot of what of us in life do. We live our lives according to all the masks we layer on ourselves. And we show up so far removed from who we actually are.
And one day we wake up and it feels heavy, hard, and we’ve forgotten who we were created to be.
And in that moment in front of the dryer. I knew that I could sit and be miserable.
OR I COULD TAKE OWNERSHIP FOR MY LIFE.
And thank god I decided to take ownership.
I stopped putting my happiness in other people’s hands.
I no longer waited for other people to step in and rescue me.
I stopped waiting for permission from other people.
I began to take off the mask of being a victim and labeling others as nasty villains.
I SLOWLY stopped complaining (this one may have taken a bit-hey, habits are challenging to break sometimes).
I started to take responsibility for my choices.
I stopped waiting for everything to be perfect before I took action.
I stopped blaming.
I began to realize that I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LEVEL OF SATISFACTION AND FULFILLMENT.
Now I will tell you that things didn’t happen automatically. Things didn’t shift right away.
Patterns take time. It takes YEARS to create habits. And often it takes YEARS to break them.
And I can tell you that I still have a few areas that I want to build and improve.
But I can promise you that every step was worth it. And I almost don’t even recognize the girl that I was.
I was actually sharing this story with a friend the other day and they couldn’t believe it. They couldn’t even believe that I was so unfulfilled, bored and miserable.
Sheesh- I must have hidden it really well.
And that’s what we do right? We hide behind things like perfection, people pleasing and performing so that no one has to know.
So that no one has to see.
Our “ugliness.” The things we wouldn’t want anyone to see.
But when you take Radical Personal Responsibility for your life, I can PROMISE you that everything will change.
Because you slowly begin to own your shit.
And when you start to own it, you can no longer blame the world for doing you wrong.
Here’s what I really believe about all of this…
But I’m here to tell you that you actually CAN rewrite your beliefs. You can rewrite your story.
YOU own your choices.
YOU own your story.
YOU own your attitude.
YOU own your beliefs.
YOU own your time.
YOU own your body.
YOUR LIFE AND YOUR DREAMS BELONG TO YOU!
SO what is it gorgeous that needs to change TODAY? WHat is even just something small that you can do to move one step closer to your dreams, to your goals, to living your best life?
Or will you wait until it’s too late? I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t wanna go down like that.
I want to own my life. My dreams.
I want to own where I’m headed. I want to own the impact that I have in this life.
I want to own it all. Because I believe that if I’m craving it, I can TRULY create it.
Those dreams, those things that you mull over in your sweet head? Those are real things that you actually can bring about into your physical existence.
You see, when I had that experience in front of the dryer that day, things didn’t change immediately. It wasn’t as though I woke up the next day living my dreams.
But I can promise you that it started with one small choice.
The choice to OWN MY LIFE.
The choice to take personal responsibility.
The choice to show up and down where I was headed. Where I wanted to steer the ship and the impact that I would make along the way.
So no matter how small or big the next step is you need to take it, I can absolutely promise you with 100% certainty that you will not regret it.
If you want to own your life-you owe it to yourself.
You owe it to the people who are dying to receive your gifts and talents.
To the people behind you that will follow in your footsteps.
So I’m not sure what action you need to take today, but I can promise you that it all starts with owning your life.
YOU OWN YOUR LIFE. What will do with it TODAY?
And remember...if you’re dreaming it, YOU CAN DO IT.